My last post was on January 20, 2016. I had every intention of maintaining the blog, but always talked myself out of posting. I wasn’t sure what to write about, the accreta was gone. I had survived. Life goes on, right?
January of 2016 is also when I made a commitment to get healthy, finally lose all the baby weight… I mean #1 was 11, it was time. I started running even though I had ruptured a disc in my back January of 2013 and again January 2014. Running became a great way for me to focus on something other than what had happened. I started running further and faster and more often. It felt good, freed my mind, and I could do it alone. Then I signed up for the Philadelphia Half and for months running become my focus. I mapped runs, read blogs, made several Pinterest Boards, asked my running friends questions (a lot of questions), researched training plans, and even started listening to music while I ran (this is huge because in all my years as an athlete, I never listened to music, I counted… trust me, I hear how weird that sounds). All this running and I couldn’t sleep.
Most nights, I would fall asleep but wake up around 1:00 to check each boy, lay back down and go check them again and sometimes a third time. I would think about dangers in the house, like batteries in the remote control that the baby could get a hold of, and out of bed again to go check if the batteries were still in tact in all remotes.
Running and the worrying went on full force until November when I met my goal and I finished the Philadelphia Half Marathon. I was tired. And not the kind of tired you can sleep off. I was physically, emotionally, mentally drained. I went for my yearly check up and shared my concerns about being tired. Then, the doctor did something then that I will never forget. He took a manila folder that was about an inch and half thick and put it on his desk. That folder contained my surgical report. He suspected my exhaustion was a result of a what my body and mind had endured. The doctor also told me he was so glad I had made it, which caused me to pause and really reflect. Life goes on right? We are here and we are healthy.
There were two times that the reality of what we had gone through really hit me, the moment the doctor in ICU said that I had survived without any brain, heart or lung damage (until that moment, I didn’t know that was a possibility) and when my “regular” doctor, from the practice who had delivered three of my babies, said he was glad that I had made it.
So my new focus was how to find calm and relax. At the advice of the my doctor, I let the laundry pile, bought pre-packaged snacks, and went to bed without cleaning the entire house. Anyone who knows me…… knows… this… was… hard. But staying true to myself, I researched every way to relax (the research is what was most relaxing) and found ways that worked for me. So yes, Life Goes On, but it is okay to reflect and think about where you have been, what you have been through, and how that has made you who you are today.
Thank you for reading! I will be posting leading up to the NYC Marathon in November where I will run with the Red Cross Team. Please consider donating to the Red Cross and my fundraising efforts: www.tinyurl.com/runfortheRED
My favorite and most relaxed time is when we are all (seven humans and two dogs) together in one room. Like a momma bear, I like my babies close!